Passages

Earlier in this blog, I opined on honoring the dead -- those who blazed the trails ahead of us. It was a bit too theoretical. These past two weeks have made me dig a little deeper.

In less than two weeks a 46-year-old neighbor Hillary and a 49-year-old former colleague/dear friend Kerry have died. Hillary succumbed to her battle with cancer; Kerry's life was cut short by an aneurysm. My ancestors had lived long, full lives. While I was sad when my forebearers moved to a different path, I can honor their lives, the differences they made, the battles they fought to make my life easier, etc.

Hillary and Kerry lived life fully but not nearly long enough. As I look into the faces of their brave mothers carrying on, I see glimpses of the future that is no longer there. How strong these mothers are who live with the unbearable grief of losing a child. I see in their countenances and carriages Hillary and Kerry as they coulda, woulda, shoulda have been. I think about the times that we should have shared growing old together. I should have been comforting my friends as their parents made their passages. Instead, I embrace their parents.

Kerry and I got together regularly for lunch or drinks. We easily flowed between gossiping about former colleagues and solving global issues; fashion tips and career moves; being silly, profane, irreverent and serious, thoughtful and profound. Not long ago, Kerry decided that we should block time on our calendars several months ahead for our get togethers. As I sit here trying to make sense of all of this, I stare at her name on my calendar for October 2nd and November 12th. I can't bring myself to delete these appointments. It's just not that easy -- hit the delete key and poof, she's gone.

Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today. There are so many of these cliches and it's no wonder. This isn't a new lesson, just different teachers and learning moments.

Passionate Rebellious Wistful